


The Past and How We Heal

by MSO



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: How Do I Tag, M/M, Minor Swearing, Tag As I Go, ace has anger issues, ace stans come get y'alls juice, i miss ace copular, murdoc and ace are brothers, murdoc is learning, no beta we die like men, no swearing in the first chapter, russel is the mom of the group, sebastian niccals is an ass, tw for child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSO/pseuds/MSO
Summary: Ace had a bad record in the past, his gang knew it, the people in town knew it, but did the Gorillaz know it?(Sorry im bad at summaries :')
Relationships: Ace Copular/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. The unease

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read!  
> I hc Ace and Murdoc as brothers! (hope that clears up any confusion)  
> Ace ran away when he was a teen, making Murdoc think he was dead.  
> just some info, enjoy :)

Today wasn’t going to be a good day and that was just fact to Ace. Maybe it was because he woke up to the sound of yelling downstairs, or that the sun was shining right in his face, or maybe he fell asleep with socks on. He didn’t know which one it was but he was blaming the sun for it, for ruining a good night's sleep that he deserved after a long flight, a flight that caused him to gain major jet lag. A long flight to see his pals, that's right, he was visiting the Gorillaz for the first time in months.

Meeting Murdoc was… nice. Seeing someone who thought you were dead was odd but it was sincere to him. They were brothers, they had the same dad, a dad who was an asshole, who tried to kill all three of his sons but failed, leaving them with trauma instead. The reunion between the two was bittersweet and he had gotten socked in the face, but maybe he deserved it, since he ran off to the United States and didn’t contact any of his brothers, letting them think he was dead, that their father successfully killed him.

Ace finally stopped thinking and got out of bed, yawning and rubbing one of his eyes, then stumbled over to his closet and stared into it for a few minutes before getting the energy to finally get dressed. He changed into a pink Hawaiian shirt, faded jeans and a leather jacket because he was bi and a mess. Of course, he had his shades but that was a given. He was too lazy to do his hair so he put it up in a bun and finally headed downstairs, where the others were. Russel was probably making breakfast, Noodle on her phone checking Instagram, Murdoc sitting at the table drinking coffee, and 2D watching noodle look at cats on Instagram.

He finally arrived at the kitchen and his suspicions as to what everyone was doing was correct. He walked into the kitchen and got himself a cup of coffee, mumbling a “good morning” to Russel who only hummed in response, he couldn’t really blame him. Ace went to the table and sat next to Murdoc, who looked tired, just like Ace. They both weren’t morning people, never had been. That was one of their similarities, but Ace didn’t know if they had any more similarities than just not being a morning person, seeing as they hadn’t talked in over a decade. He wanted to get to know Murdoc more, Murdoc had helped raise him when he was a kid, but was kicked out once he had hit age 20. Ace knew Murdoc hadn’t left on his own accord, but at times it felt like Murdoc and Hannibal had abandoned him. Hannibal hadn’t been around often, but when he was he made sure to teach Sebastian, their father, a lesson.

Murdoc was the one to break the silence, which was somewhat surprising since Ace was more talkative than murdoc was, that was one of their differences, if not many. 

“It’s nice to have you back. I’m honestly glad you filled in for me.” Murdoc’s words  
sounded sincere to Ace, something that didn’t occur often when Murdoc spoke.

Ace glanced over at Murdoc, a brow raised at the sincerity that dripped from Murdocs words, was this Murdocs way of telling Ace he was proud of him? Was Murdoc even proud of him? He always had a hard time finding the meaning to Murdoc’s words when he spoke, even as a kid.

Ace cleared his throat before finally speaking “Well, you taught me, it only made sense that I filled in for you, seeing as I’m the only one who’s as good as you, maybe even better!” there was a playful tone to Ace’s words that brought a smile to Murdoc’s face

“Alright now listen here kid, no one is as good as me, not you, not even Hannibal. It’s impossible to be as good as I, Murdoc Niccals.” He gave a sly smile after speaking.

of course, he was making himself seem better than he was, seeing as he was the only successful one out of the three brothers, but there was still a playful tone to his voice that made the atmosphere between them relaxing in a way, which was hard to achieve when you were talking to Murdoc, but it was possible. 

Ace was about to respond with his own comment, but Russel called for Noodle and 2D for breakfast, it was a simple breakfast that they all could handle, pancakes. Ace appreciated that Russel had cooked for them, but a part of him felt bad that he was left to cook for everyone, even though they all could make something. During the Now Now 2D had improved on cooking, but he wasn’t sure Murdoc could even cook, he remembered they would order food quite often, either because none of them could cook, there was no food, or it was all expired.

Ace glanced around the table, watching as 2D started to cut his pancakes up, as Murdoc and Noodle drowned their pancakes in syrup, Russel watching the two in disappointment, which made Ace chuckle. Russel really was just a tired mom, huh? Ace started to dig into his pancakes, he felt content at the moment but… there was that lingering feeling in the pit of his stomach, that today would be a bad day. He wasn’t sure why he felt that way, but it made him feel uneasy.

After breakfast Ace helped Noodle with the dishes. He always felt weird when he didn’t help around the place he was staying at, maybe it was just common courtesy for him. After he did the dishes he joined 2D on the couch to watch whatever was on tv with him. He was glad that he didn’t have to face time with 2D anymore, it was hard being in a long distance relationship, but he was here now and that's all that mattered. He could sit down on the couch with a person he adored in peace, they could sit together in silence and not feel awkward about it, and that's what made him love 2D even more, the fact they could just sit together in silence and feel comfortable, feel loved even without speaking.

Love was a hard concept for Ace to grasp, hard for him as in, how could Ace, a person who was in a gang and had a past filled with crime be deserving of love? Yes, he had had hookups in the past, but it never made him feel like how he did now when he was with 2D, feeling adored and respected, something that at times, he felt he didn’t deserve. But that was something he needed to work on, it was something 2D was helping him work on, that he deserved to feel loved, even if he had a bad past, it was something he was working on. If he could work on his anger issues then he could work on those feelings of self worth, his anger issues were a real problem for him when he was younger, it had made life difficult, but during time in prison, he had gotten help, help he couldn’t have afforded had he not gotten arrested. So maybe, being arrested had been a good thing for him, even if it had been put on his record.

While he had spaced out, Murdoc, Russel, and Noodle had joined the two in watching tv, well only Russel and 2D were watching tv, Noodle on her switch, playing Animal Crossing, and Murdoc on his phone, while Ace spaced out. He snapped back to reality when he heard Murdoc snicker, that feeling in his gut returning immediately, stronger than it was earlier, when he had woken up, stronger than when he had been sitting at the table with everyone. Ace sat up, straightened slightly, he hated this feeling but Murdoc had triggered it and all he had done was made a noise, why was he feeling like this? The feeling wasn’t painful, but it made him uneasy, bringing a faint feeling of nausea along with the uneasiness which didn’t make things any better.


	2. The Outburst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc finally sends Ace overboard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos :) It means alot to me! and I really hope you guys enjoy this!

Maybe it was the sound murdoc made that caused the unease, but all he knew was that nothing good was coming out of what would happen next, the way Murdoc shifted, a sly smirk on his face, adjusting his phone, then opening his mouth to speak, his sharp teeth exposed.

“Did any of you know that my dearest brother, your beloved second bass player, has a criminal record? And a mighty mug shot to go along with that record. I think we should get to know him more, shall we take a peek? Hm?” 

That got the band members attention, Noodle setting her Switch down, 2D looking over at Murdoc and Russel doing the same. For Ace it was different, they couldn’t see it, because of his shades, but he was glaring daggers at Murdoc, this was why Ace was feeling so thrown off, he felt a mixture of anger and anxiety, Murdoc was about to share something Ace wasn’t ready to talk about, something he didn’t like to think about, and god if the band found out all the crimes he had committed… 2D wouldn’t want to be with him, Noodle would hate him and so would Russel, Murdoc… Murdoc would be ashamed of him, wouldn’t he? 

Murdoc thought he was being funny wasn’t he? He had everyone intrigued in the crimes Ace had committed, Murdoc was his big brother! How could he just expose him like this? Did he not care? He knew the stories about Murdoc from 2D and the others, but he never expected this to come out of Murdoc, to his own brother. On the outside Ace was still glaring at Murdoc, his hands clenched into fists and starting to shake, his body filled with an anger he hadn’t felt since his last time in jail.

Finally, Ace spoke up “Murdoc I swear to fucking satan, you better no-” he was cut off as he saw that murdoc had connected his phone to the tv, Ace’s mugshot up for the band, and what felt like the world, to see.

Ace’s mugshot made him look… different, entirely different from what they knew him as now. Ace was younger in that photo, he looked angry, maybe close to furious, he had a black eye, a gash across his cheek and a cut on his lip, his shades were gone and his hair was a mess. Ace had been wearing an orange prison suit and had his card held up. He had a tight grip on the card, which stated his prison number, name, and which prison he was being housed at.

The band started to make comments and murdoc had the audacity to laugh, but Ace felt like he was underwater, their voices muffled, his hands still shaky, slightly worse than earlier. He stared at the tv and watched as murdoc started scrolling down to get to his criminal record, the room going quiet as they took time to read what was on his criminal record.

According to Ace’s criminal record, it consisted of: Multiple DUI’S, multiple accounts of reckless driving, a few accounts of trespassing, evading the police multiple times, driving with a suspended license, multiple acts of assault, drug use, underage drinking, and credit card fraud. No one in the room was laughing anymore and Ace was furious. Ace knew his record wasn’t the worst to exist but… he still felt ashamed of what he had done, and now that feeling grew stronger, he was ashamed, embarrassed, and furious.

Murdoc finally spoke up, letting out some comment that sent Ace overboard. How dare Murdoc do this, he had no right and no say. Murdoc, his own brother brought up a personal issue, he felt betrayed. He thought his brother would be somewhat kind to him, not completely because that just wasn’t Murdoc’s nature.

Suddenly Ace was on top of Murdoc, he had lunged at him from his part of the couch, once he had gotten to Murdoc the force of his lunge had caused murdocs part of the couch to tip over, making a loud thud throughout the room. Murdoc was staring up at Ace with huge eyes, had he not expected this outcome? Had he not expected that Ace would be mad? How could this man be so stupid towards peoples feelings?

Ace was yelling at Murdoc, his hands gripping his throat tightly. Ace was seething with rage, which he hadn’t felt in a long time. The last time he felt this was when someone had insulted Grubber, which resulted in his prison sentence for assault. Ace wasn’t even thinking, just yelling at him, throwing a punch in, having a small grasp on self restraint.

“Why the FUCK would you do that?! How fucking STUPID are you?! How stupid do you have to be to do this without thinking about HOW I FEEL?” The last words were screamed at Murdoc with raw anger. 

Murdoc just stared up at him with wide eyes, maybe Murdoc didn’t know what his brother was really capable of. He remembered when Ace was a kid his punches weren’t even close to being strong, did he still think Ace was that weak today? Ace’s punch was hard, and it stung. Had his fist collided with his nose it might’ve broke. Murdoc was just lucky Ace didn’t have his brass knuckles on.

Ace didn’t even register the rest of the band yelling at Ace, confusion and fear in their voices. He was finally brought back down to earth when Russel grabbed his arm firmly and tugged him back, giving Murdoc the chance to get back up and dust himself off. Murdoc and Ace stared at each other, Ace’s glasses tipped down his nose, showing his eyes that were like pin points, focused on Murdoc like a hawk. Ace’s entire body was shaking from the sheer amount of anger and energy he had let out, his brain was starting to catch up with what had just happened.

Then, it hit Ace. Oh no. No, no, he just had an outburst. An outburst, in front of people he never expected to cause an outburst from him. They saw a new side to Ace, how dangerous he truly was. Ace could feel that poker chip like a weight in his pocket. The poker chip was given to him on his last day of anger management, like a reward. Yes it was just a poker chip, but it meant alot to Ace, and now… now it felt like he had lost all of that progress. Months of managing his anger, earning poker chips that said how many days he had gone without an outburst. Was all of it for nothing? Was this one outburst going to cause him to relapse? 

Ace could feel all of them staring at him, they must be horrified, right? They must be ashamed. They must want him out of the house, don’t they? Suddenly Ace tugged himself out of Russels grip harshly and ran out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. Ace pushed up his shades and ran down the street. He had no idea where he was going but he knew he had to get away. He had to leave, he had to go. He couldn’t face them again, they were terrified. Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Uh this is my first fic that i'm publicly posting! so if you have any critique it's certainly welcomed!
> 
> Feel free to check out my tumblr @/muscular-lettuce


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